When was the last time you listen with your whole self? – DWolver Khoo

23 March 2020  •  5 mins read


When was the last time you listen with your whole self?

Think about the last time you feel heard. There’s a special sensation when we are listened to, an instant connection and felt closeness. While there’s a pandemic of COVID-19, there’s an accompanying threat of an epidemic of loneliness. Amidst social distancing measures during this period, listening is ever so important. We can give the gift of attention to those we care about.

Listening is about being curious. Everyone is unique and has something to teach us. As a professional listener, taking a learning posture, and appreciative listening has enabled me to exercise evocative empathy. Listening not to agree, argue or answer but to understand matters, our intention matters.

How might we listen, you may ask? Gerard Egan, author of the Skilled Helper, recommend adopting the SOLER posture when listening using a whole-body approach (sitting upright, open, lean in, eye contact, relaxed). The wisdom embedded in the traditional Chinese character (聽 ) of listening advocates applying our whole-of-self from using our ears, eyes and heart to listen. Dale Carnegie advises that “if you aspire to be a good conversationalist, be an attentive listener.”

In listening to complaints, let’s hear the wish behind! In listening, let’s pay attention to what’s said and what’s not. In listening, let’s embrace silence as our friend, pauses are not awkward.

Listening is hard work but listening makes a difference. Give your gift of attention by listening today👂

– Written by: DWolver Khoo

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